header_left
title_beACoach
share this blog with
The Couple with Alzheimer's
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
I am working with couples of whom one partner has a progressive dementia like Alzheimer's. A 60 year loving relationship is hard to give up and adjust to a new kind of relationship. One spouse said recently, "For 60 years we have been a loving couple...perfect! Now it is over." He was grieving the loss of his 'perfect' partner and was despondent. Yes, the relationship is different to be sure, but it isn't over. The well partner needs to take charge of much or perhaps most of the day to day living, but with some help can learn ways to engage the other partner to do things he or she always did well and that gave purpose, to doing it well enough and encouraging togetherness. It is not easy but is it worth it to hold on to a precious partner's company? I think so, and so do the couples that were able to try.
For example, rather than doing the meal prep and clean up alone, invite the other spouse to work with you. Most people do not forget how to do things, they just lack the organizational skills needed to start. Everyone needs to feel valued and meaningful. Finding work that satisfies that need is essential to contentment for him.
<< Back to all Blog Posts




callout_testimony

"I learned not to treat my father like a child; to continue to talk with him as an adult."







callout_testimony
Support Groups
Tuesday, May 02, 2017
Support groups are a lifeline for dementia caregivers. People who attend the groups I facilitate consistently say, "This is the only place where everyone knows what I'm talking about." Participants ...   Learn More >>
My thoughts these days
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
I turned 75 this past May and started to think about the future of StilMee's service to caregivers. There are other agencies offering coaching through the ASAPs (state funded agencies) ...   Learn More >>